make them go TOGETHER to 20 1 hour sessions with a minister, psychologist, analyst or psychiatrist.
Tell your child and prospective that you are doing this so that they can establish what their priorities and rules with each other - obvious things like
1. No cheating. policy for old boy and girl friends.
2. where are you going to live
3. where for christmas, thanksgiving
4. where is wedding
5. who pays for wedding and how many people
6. what religion for children
7. alcohol, drugs, pills policy
8. who changes diapers, makes bed, does laundry, cook
9. prenup showing what poorer person gets after 1 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years. for first ten years my feeling is a "salary" of 200k a year cap.
10. toilet seat must go down
11. farting, picking nose, scratching, bad breath RULES
12. draw them out to say what drives them crazy.
that is just a start!
then 50 other things. Then PUT IN WRITING and get everyone to sign it and swear to it.
no phony gold digger can get through this. any pro can expose a gold digger in 5 sessions.